Of virginity, loneliness and cats.

An article i just read from the Sydney Morning Herald. 

Writing a column is a constant battle between writing about what is important and what is diverting. The tension between the two is obvious, no more so than this week, when I want to write about tax (important), but have been distracted by a frumpy, unemployed, middle-aged virgin (diverting). What reconciles the chasm between the two, between tax policy and Susan Boyle (the frumpy, unemployed, middle-aged virgin) is the phenomenon known as the wisdom of crowds.

The wisdom of crowds has been supremely evident during the past week since 4000 people in a concert hall in Glasgow began shifting in their seats as a frumpy, jowly, middle-aged woman stalked onto the stage and told the judges her dream was to be a professional singer and her role model was Elaine Paige. A ripple of discomfort and incredulity ran through the auditorium, and the judging panel, as the woman, Susan Boyle, nominated her song,I Dream A Dream from Les Miserables.

Earlier, Ms Boyle had been shown on the big screen eating a sandwich backstage, and telling judges she was unemployed, lived alone with her cat, Pebbles, had never been married, in fact, had never been kissed.

She sang in a church choir in a village of West Lothian, near Edinburgh, where she has lived alone in her childhood home since the death of her 91-year-old mother two years ago.

As she was about to sing there was collective hush as if 4000 people were about to watch a slow-motion social train wreck. By the time Ms Boyle had finished her song, the judges had been rendered irrelevant .

The audience was on its feet for a cheering, standing ovation. The rest is internet history. On YouTube, various videos featuring the performance have been viewed more than 34 million times around the world. It's gone global.

I recommend any reader with access to the internet, who has not seen these videos, to visit YouTube, search "Susan Boyle", and click on the video with the largest number of viewers (the wisdom of crowds) because that is the one which shows the whole saga, from backstage sandwich to stunned judges. It will make your day.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Must watch!

I think, if you're 25+ and have never dated, and love cats, my advice is you should be seeking help. 

*counts*, actually make that 30. :)

Absolute random.

Ah. It's been a while. And I won't bore you with details of why "it's been a while" but basically, it isn't procrastination, it's the filled schedule. Filled with random, random stuff.

Anyhow, I'll fill you in with the random stuff that I can think of now, the ones I think won't bore you?

1. I've moved! ..to literally the corner of where I used to stay. lol So in terms of location, not much to adapt to at all. Work is still 5 minutes walk away. :) And I can see darling harbour from one of the balconies, which is the one awesome thing.

2. I have a finance mid-sem paper on thurs. And to be perfectly honest, I was not stressed about it at all until this evening, after my gym session (will discuss this in more detail below). While walking back home, I started thinking of how, I dont have anymore time for it and am freaking out badly.

3. In my opinion, lecturers are academics who, expect students who excel in university to seriously, not have a life. I don't know about your university. But in my university, my faculty, every single damn Unit of Study Outline I get at the start of every damn semester, I'd see the horrifying "If you are an average student seeking to get an average result you are expected to spend at least 9hours each week on learning." Oh, that's for ONE subject :). 

4. I joined the gym :). And quite liking it, really. I actually woke up at 9ish on a Saturday morning, yesterday and went for pilates. Quite an achievement, don't you think?

5. I once heard a friend told me, pilates make you fart. I think I was the living proof yesterday. And mind you, it wasn't easy to let go of your gas (quietly) with one person kinda at the tip of your toes and another at the tip of your head.

6. Body pump is some serious work out.

7. I swear, when my alarm wakes me up tomorrow morning, and as I lay conscious on my bed, I probably won't be able to lift one arm to switch the alarm off. 

8. I'm so dramatic.

9. I quite am looking forward to white water rafting during the easter break :)

10. Not to mention, showbag shopping at the easter show!

11. Speaking of shopping, brings me to the marc cardigan I saw this evening :(. I want it la. It hugs my body so nicely, I nearly drooled.

12. No. 8 applies here again.

13. I'm going for yoga on Wednesday. First ever lesson since I first spoke of it, 3 years ago?

14. I ate Malaysian pancakes today! The thick ones selling at the corner of Pulau Tikus market. The ones with peanuts and sugar and yummmmmy flavour! Yes, had that at a Charity food fair with Malaysian food. mm YUm *closes eyes*

15. I spent nearly an hour just grating carrots this morning for the laksa stall. At the end of it? My fingernails were pretty much orange-y with zig-zaggy fingernail tips. Quite hilarious really. And another girl I know who spent her morning cutting cucumbers, had green-ish , moldy looking fingers... I had no idea that could happen. 

16. I like the fact that now they've switched the clock back, I'm only 2 hours ahead on Malaysia. So I saw my mum's face on skype just now after about 2 weeks already. But that also means, it gets dark earlier which is a bit depressing.

I have more to talk about. But, give me some time to elaborate and dramaticize them like I always do and I'll post it up. 

Meanwhile, wish me luck for tomorrow. And obviously, Thursday.

Time, time, time..

*title to be sung in accordance with Fallout Boy's America's Suitehearts*

Time. It's slipping from my grasp, slowly, subtly, gently, subconsciously. The weekends come as quick as they fly by. I barely have time to sit down and stare at my ceiling like how I always do back home in Penang. The 'ME times' when I'd just listen to my ipod and drift away, to a faraway, make up land, where everything is perfect. LOL Those times and those land..seem not just physically and mentally further now, they seem rather nonexistent and silly. Yea, I've lost those times when I'd just sit, look out of the balcony and think of random things. In fact, I barely have time to look at my toes and it usually takes kicking my big toe at the edge of something real hard, for me to look down at it, rub it with my face wincing in pain, and go.."Gee, these toenails need some trimming". ..And might I add, I haven't seen my mum's face on skype in..bout 3 weeks. I take advantage of travelling times to call her and speak to her. :(

So yes, it is uni. It's the workload, the never-ending assessments, the society events, the non-availability of my off days from uni due to work. But I still love work. :) My free time are scheduled to read up on uni reading materials/prepare for assessments. Yes, it's turning sad. And on the occasions where I book my weekend for social events, I suffer the night of that particular weekend and thereafter. And obviously there's housekeeping to do here and there. I miss my maid. I actually mean it literally. Well obviously there's the portion where I miss the luxury of having her around, the luxury of telling her "Kakak, please wash this top and I need to wear it tomorrow!" and actually having that top folded nicely on my bed the next day and the luxury of waking up at 11am, walking out of my room rubbing my eyes, telling her I want to eat pasta at 12pm to make it in time for my 1pm Physics class in college. Yea, that portion, but there's this other part, which is, she actually makes me laugh :). She does stupid/funny/nonsensical things that gives me the opportunity to annoy her.

..Time.

And I realized how my course is so short, I don't have time to lose if I want to get what I want to get right after I graduate, or a short period of time after. Hence, the cramming of all the things I need to do during my uni days and the things I want to do while I'm still at uni. And hence, I'm losing time and slowly, the ability to juggle all my wants and needs with the availability of time left to me. And yet I don't believe, you can't have everything. I've seen cases, inspirational cases which is sufficient for the time being.

I can see now, how they say, when your age reaches the double digits, every time the first digit turns to a bigger number, time flies faster. 

*takes a deep breath*

Just slow down a minute.

Uni has started! Boo. Was drawing out my schedule for the semester and I cannot help hating Thursdays for many reasons. Firstly, I start at 9 and finish at 6 with 3 hour gaps during the day which I have failed to fit in my PASS session because they don't have it on Thursdays. 

...Bla Bla Bla...

Anyhow,  I know I've abandoned this blog for some time. But I didn't have the inspiration to blog until 7 minutes ago, after watching Confessions of a Shopaholic. Yes, I LOVE the book. I love the entire series of the book because when I read the book, Rebecca Bloomwood wasn't a bimbo, for starters. I may not understand or know 'haute couture', but I accepted the many unique outfits and costumes worn by Sarah Jessica Parker in Sex & the City and actually think they are bloody fabulous. But in Shopaholic, Isla Fisher is all dolled up horrendously. Second of all, the movie was completely different from the book.

Rebecca was supposed to be working in Successful Savings as a financial journalist. Ironically, she is a shopaholic who has problems with her debts. Luke Brandon isn't her boss. She met him at press conferences since he owns a PR communications company, Brandon Communications. And so, one day, on her way to one of the press conferences, she saw the 'SALE' sign at a Denny & George outlet. Wanted to purchase a scarf, but realised, she left her credit card at her office and was short of $20 to pay by cash. When she was at the conference, she was trying to ask her friend for the $20 but since there were professionals from financial firms giving speeches at the front, she was caught busy talking by Luke who then asked her if she had any troubles. And she came up with an excuse that she needed to buy a scarf for her aunt who is terminally ill. Luke bought her story and lent her the $20. Right after the conference, she left for the store to purchase the scarf. THAT was how she got to know Luke. And they didn't go dancing at any restaurant on their first date. They went to the Ritz Carlton Hotel on their first date, for a dinner, mind you, which didn't turn out to just be a dinner of course.

And Alicia-bitch-longlegs works for Luke and isn't working for 'Elite' magazine!

Rebecca did not lie to Luke about Derek Smeath. She lied to her parents about him, that he was a stalker who is giving the excuse that she is in debt. 

The whole sale of her stuff things did happen, and the auction of the scarf. And Luke bidding for it both on the phone and through the girl. They all did. But it wasn't in 'Confessions of a Shopaholic'. It was in 'Shopaholic Abroad' or 'Shopaholic Takes Manhattan', when she was going to leave for Manhattan, he went to the airport. With her thinking, her Denny & George scarf was sold, he pulled it out of his pocket and tied it around her neck. THAT was the part that got me so awestruck I read it 5 times :). And occasionally, last time, I'd still open that chapter and read it, just that chapter. *except, in my imagination, the scarf was shorter. Real short. Like those you tie around your neck to give it a bit of volume*

I love it so much, when I'm about to finish any of the books, I usually can't bear to read the last chapter. Because after reading the last chapter, that world's gone. And you know how, by not reading the last chapter, you feel you're kind of still mingling around them?

I'm extremely disappointed at how the movie turned out :(. I've wanted to watch it since I first read it so I could visualise the faces of Rebecca and Luke. So they won't be a guy and girl with dark shaded egg shaped faces. But now I can't. Isla Fisher does not match my idea of Rebecca at all. And so I've decided, for the subsequent releases of the books, I'd read them and continue imagining it with the unknown faces.

Great, it's nearly 12am now. And I haven't got my bag packed for work tomorrow. And I thought I'd be able to indulge in reading my favourite story book of the..month, A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini since I'm not doing any revision tonight. Aiya.

I'm back.

I'm back.

Got back, and slept thru the afternoon. I had no idea I was that tired until I got into the Pg-S'pore plane and fell asleep moments after the plane was as high as it's supposed to be. I normally don't fall asleep when I get to see the whole of Penang because really, how often do you get to see that awesome little island from up high? I slept right through that flight and woke up just for the snack that was served. Then, got onto the S'pore-Sydney with plans of watching a few movies. But was so tired, I watched only one and slept for the rest of the journey, waking up for meals and leg stretching only. And, I was fast asleep even when the plane was landing only to realised I've landed when it felt bumpy. 

Surprise, surprise, I did not cry at the airport, much to my surprise. I think I was too tired I didn't think of anything when I hugged everyone. And funny how, last year, somewhere around June-July when I was thinking of the day I have to leave Penang again in Feb'09, I already teared and actually cried. LOL I tried to think so I could cry when I was on the plane but I failed. I supposed, I was feeling quite optimistic then? But I'm reminded of how much I cried when mum left for Penang in May '08 when she came, and that's probably how she's feeling when she was at the airport and when she got home. Hmm.

Penang had been so much fun. I do miss everyone back home already. 

I had to go visit a doctor today because I discovered 7 dark red spots on my chin in the plane. And I told mum and she got all worried it might be shingles. So off I went, and the doctor suspected I may be hemorrhaging and he mentioned something along the lines of coagulation + platelets + yada yada yada [sorry I gave all my Biology knowledge back ever since er..3rd/4th December 2006] and so sent me for a blood test. This time, I saw 6 tubes of my blood. Hmm. Even if taking that amount of bloody isn't enough to make me feel sick, I think, the thought of it, makes me feel weak already. There goes my gym plan :). 

Then got back, and watched Princess Returning Pearl :). Shh, I don't think many people know of this yet. lol I love that series. hahaha. And then there was this part where the king fed the princess with some soup which is supposedly medicine. And I couldn't help but cry. 

I can't wait for the day when my parents will be in such close proximity to me, and at the same time, me not having to worry that I'd be leaving them soon, or they'd be leaving me. 

Oh, I'm starting again. lol

Anyhow, one advice mum gave before I left her last year. The one I've tried to avoid giving much thought to. The one I know will help me through the toughest of times and the one which will benefit all of you too. 

She said, "Never give yourself the luxury to indulge in self pity."

Alright then, I start work tomorrow and should sleep early. But before that, I need to pick what to wear. :)

Hmm.

- My B'day. (tick)
- KL Trip with parents. (tick)
- KL Trip with friends. (tick)
=> December. (tick)

:(

- Trip to Kota Bharu, Kelantan. (tick)
- Chinese New Year. (tick)
=> January. (tick)

sigh.

The little highlights of home are all ticked. I dare not think what I'd be doing this time next week.

Meanwhile, I've still got a couple of things to do before I go back.
1. Visit School.
2. Visit Disted again. (I didnt get to see Ah Huat the last time)
3. Char Siew Rice :)
4. Visit my Accounting teacher. I havent since before my Accounting paper for SPM. lol

And, I thought I'd find the answers I've been looking for this time I'm back (I'll talk about it some other time). While I've found most of them, there's still this bit that's left unknown. And I can't ask. Nor can I hint.

Yet, knowing the days are now numbered.

Hmm.

A Place Called Here.

Sometimes, people can go missing right before our very eyes. Sometimes, people discover you, even though they've been looking at you the entire time. Sometimes, we lose sight of ourselves when we're not paying enough attention. "Sometimes, we lose sight of ourselves when we're not paying enough attention". 

That's an extract from the book 'A Place Called Here' by Cecilia Ahern. I JUST finished the book this morning after..approximately 2 months. It's not that it has a bad story line, or that I hated the way it's written, but I was just not that into it. It didn't have the force to keep me going. 

"Sometimes, we lose sight of ourselves when we're not paying enough attention". This sentence keeps ringing in my mind. I don't know why, but it's like, I can't decipher it fully well. And my mind keeps repeating it like its some kind of mantra waiting for my brain to miraculously make more sense out of that phrase, more sense than I'm able to. But the much sense that I can make out of it is enough for me to like the sentence. Like how, we drift apart from our physical self when 'we're not paying enough attention'. 

Anyhow, about the book. I never intended for my blog to be where I'd write reviews about books or movies or tv series but I'm making Sex & the City and this one exceptions. The story tries to explain where 'lost' things go and I like the idea though it was rather unrealistic. In the story, when people, things, emotions and scents are lost, they all go this place called 'Here'. It didn't explain where exactly 'Here' is, but I assumed it was not on our map and it's like a 'magical place' in kiddy fairytales except it's NOT magical. It's like..where we live in now, but perhaps a little more backward. And the people that arrive there settle down, get married, have kids and die and so on. Just like us. 

But somehow, things can get lost from 'Here' too and that's when they get back to where we are. Not just things, even people can get lost from 'Here'. [You had to be extremely lucky to be lost from 'Here' because usually, that will not happen at all] I know it sounds bizarre. I thought it was too. lol But you know how, sometimes, you swear you put that hair pin on your dressing table and then you'd search high and low for it but it's not there. Then 2 days later, you find it on your study table? Yes, of course, you must have recalled by mistake. Or you must have used it once more and place it on your study table absent-mindedly. I know, logically that's an obviously better explanation. But I used to have a ring made by my friend when we were 8. And I'd wear it whenever I remember which usually happens in phases. Like I'd wear it for a week, removing it everytime I shower and putting it back on when I'm done. After that week, I'd forget all about it. Then after some time, I'd feel like wearing it again and start searching for it. Like everyone else, usually, when you make the effort to look for it, that thing just wouldn't be there. So I left it, for weeks and weeks. Then out of the blue, I'd find it, in the most obvious place. Ignoring how it'd miraculously appear in such an obvious place, I'd wear it for the few weeks again. And the cycle happens numerous times over a couple of years, until I was 14. And I didn't see it again. I don't remember being hyped up over losing it and my conscience tells me, I'd be if I did lose it, because it was a ring made by my best friend then. 

When I read the book, I thought of the ring and how, maybe it did land in 'Here'. And I wouldn't mind having it back again, if only it was one of the lucky things that found its way back.

Much like emotions, people and scents, they come and go like lost things. If only like in the book, we could choose what we want kept lost forever and what we'd like to restore from being lost.